Lifee.

Soo, I haven't put anything up in a while, one because of the Living Cross taking up all my time, and two because I've had so many disappointing things happen to me. 

1) Ring dance. My best friend promised that it would be just me and her...no guys, well the Monday before she gets a date. I didn't want to be the third wheel so I got a date, she didn't get her sheet turned in in time to take her date, soo she skipped out on me....Don't break a promise with me, promises mean everything to me. 

2) Once my date decided to just leave me I looked like a nobody, I end my ring dance night sitting outside, alone in the cold. 

3) I'm tired of people judging my character and who I really am because they knew me 2 years ago, I'm wayyyy different. 

4) I'm tired of being disappointed everyday by something new. It's killing me and I don't really have anyone to talk to cause no one listens anymore.

I just know that I'm slowly dying inside, and I'm not being cliche, I can feel myself slowly shutting down from the world.

*Venting*

So heres what I love about life....people lie to my face all the time..mainly guys, honestly..if you don't wanna be with me TELL ME..it won't hurt my feelings, I'm a big girl and I'm ok with the truth. I'm soo sick of people..honestly, my ex wasn't even worth my time, he moves on before he's done with the girl he's with. Good luck with life, And his little bff is DRAMAA, he talks more crap than me and my sister combined, well thats ok cause he could die just scrapping his knee...WHICH I THINK IS FUNNY...HAHA..HAHA! I don't care what you have to say about me, I'm me and I'm proud of who I am...I was told to find a new way to vent...welcome new wayy :)

Thursday, March 18, 2010

In life, I like to compare a lot of situations, I guess you could say,  to different things. Today I was walking down A hall at school, going to my bus, when two random guys pushed me outta the way like I was a person. Well I decided that school is ignorance. The people in it that think they know everything until you finally tear them down with your knowledge. To bad the rest of the world is like that too. The ignorance of this work and of my school is all that I see. The only time I don't see it is when someone real is talking to me and not trying to tear me down. I tired of the ignorance...my defense..sarcasm.

~There's music to be made~ 

Just me

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Here's my philosophy about life:

The world is getting more and more screwed up everyday, we change and change and change but for what ourselves...or the world. No matter what any one regular person does, it's never good enough. And finally we have so many images in the world to look at today telling us how to look and how to dress, but for all the people who don't always fit in, I'll be the first to say that I'm fine with being me.

I have morals, I look at this world differently then most people do, and I don't care what anyone has to say about it cause that's me and I'm standing firm in what I believe and who I am. This world is the last place I want to be because it makes me feel soo bad about myself, I'm beautiful and I know it, I'm not ashamed of it, but one little flaw and I'm not anymore. This world has a distorted way to look at beauty, and I want no part of it. 

  But that's just my thought, right.

~There's music to be made~

Just me 

This is how I am now going to vent.

I finally realized something today. 
  I'm someone new. Completely different than I was 8 months ago. 
           *Random fact about me*

•  I've had mild depression for 2 years...which means that I'm always depressed. It comes and goes, but stays around way to long 

 1st: Valentines day a girl got into it with me about my now ex boyfriend. He decided that he need to look back at our relationship to see if it was worth saving and decided not to see me.  
  2nd: His boyfriend is a butt head and I don't want to be around him, well Amanda(bff) and me decided to vent...and it wasn't even really venting, I made a joke about him, end of story...we broke up. 

  3rd: Amanda's mom now hates me because I made a joke about Hunter...aka my ex's bff....I think it's stupid. 

    And outta all of this I've realized...

1. Guys aren't worth my time
2. Half of my "friends" are two-face!
3. I'm better off the way I was at the beginning of the school year...in a screw off mode..and alone.

So here's what I'm really trying to say: I am who I am and if you don't like it then you can move on.

 ~There's music to be made~

Just me

Monday, March 15, 2010

So today was another normal day for me, 1st period - lifting, 2nd Period - English, 3rd period - Biology, 4th period -drama, 5th - P.E./ health, and finally 6th period is Geometry. 

   The only thing that was different about today was health. We started talking about healthy relationships, and there was the whole honesty, trust, respect. But let's be real. A real relationship isn't happy-go-lucky all the time.

   So here's my take on a healthy relationship...friends, family, boyfriend...whatever. You have to be honest, tell that person what's really on your mind, even if they might get mad, cause believe me, if you don't one day you will hate that person and they'll have no idea why you do. You've gotta trust, and believe me I know how hard it is to trust anyone, but if you don't trust then you'll never take the risk of finding real love, or a real friendship. You HAVE to respect the person, they have their own way of doing things just like you. 
  My biggest BIGGEST thought is that you need to tell your loved one, best friend, and your family when they're right and when they're wrong. I mean think about it, really really think about it. When you're fighting with your brother or sister you love to tell them when they're wrong, well even though it isn't always easy, you've gotta tell your best friend(s) when they're wrong too. And if you think that your boyfriend/girlfriend is gonna be mad at you...let 'em..if they leave you, well then you know he/she wasn't worth it. 
   But that's just my take on friendships, relationships, and what not. Everyone has their own opinion.

~There's music to be made~

Just me

Sunday, March 14, 2010

   Today I woke up and went to church. We were talking about purity and what it is. I was told to be pure in every way...mind, soul, and physical...let's be real...I'm almost 16 that's one of the only thing's on my mind, I try to make it leave, but sometimes it just doesn't. I'm pure in my soul and physically because I want my husband to be a virgin as well as myself.  Well after we were taught about sex, like we are ever year at this time, we are aloud to ask question, but we write them on paper so that you can ask whatever you want and not be embarrassed. One girl asked the question, "What if I think he's the one and we've already done stuff?" Guess who answered it.....me.

   See my sister is a big reason why I am the way I am....long story short...she dated this guy and ended up leaving home to be with him, they were engaged to be married, she got prego omego and he wasn't a fit father..he was abusive to her, well she left and now she's back home...safe. She's going to be a single mother and she too thought they the guy that she was with was "the one" but he wasn't.

  So I pretty much told the chick...whoever it was...keep it in your pants.

   Later on today, when I was home I got on my facebook and checked everything, well my mom wanted my to play with our two dogs, Evie and Tobie, so I signed out and went outside. I ended up leaving the ball in the house so I came back in to get it and when I did I saw my mom on my facebook reading my message.....can anyone say invasion of privacy??? I think it was, I think that my mom should trust that in time i will tell her everything about my life cause I do. But it's whatever I guess.

  ~ There's music to be made~

  Just me

Let me introduce myself

My name is Heather. I'm a very complex person and I always have an answer for most any situation.I am a christian and God is my rock. I believe that God gave me a gift and I need to use that gift. I love to sing and play my guitar, it's the only thing that I've wanted to do with my life ever since I can remember. I love the rawness and realness of acoustics, my lyrics are my thoughts and feels about this world, my small town, and my own life. I'm 15 years young and I'm ready to let the world hear what God gave me to share.

~There's music to be made~

Just me